Arriving at Brotherly Love
Wanna see something great? Here's a video of us telling Elijah THE NEWS. You're welcome.
LOL-We have watched this countless times and still crack up over his response. David found THE PERFECT MEME depicting how we handled his last question. Remember the Matrix scene when Neo does those incredible slow-mo backbends to avoid being shot? Well David found that short sequence manipulated so every bullet represents a kid question, making Neo's dodges resemble the hilarious (and true!) life of parents. See the stills and David's (aka: swofjustice's) caption below-
But seriously. Almost immediately after we stopped filming, Elijah asked, "What about the adoption?" My heart dropped. We explained that we were definitely adopting his sister from India, but -because of laws and agency requirements- we had to wait until this baby was 1. And silence. He asked if he could go up to his room; David and I gave each other a long look and agreed.
Here's what you have to understand: Elijah has been praying for his adopted baby sister, first from Ethiopia...now from India, for over 5 years at this point. Almost half his short life. He has no recollection of the nights we spent praying our guts out for pregnancy. To him a sibling meant adoption, for as long as he could remember. And now, SURPRISE, a bio baby is on the way too! The sibling situation is about to get REAL up in this house. For a quiet, thoughtful introvert, SO much like his father, this unexpected announcement required processing time.
Later that evening, I sat writing Father's Day cards to our dads -complete with 8 week sono pics tucked inside. E noisily clomped down the steps and nonchalantly plopped next to me at the table. Quietly he said, "Mom?" "Yeah, Bud." I looked up from the cards. "It talks about sonograms in one of my books. Like the science of how they work." As he rattled off more information, I KNEW -from that moment on- he was going to be okay. My left-brained guy needed to grasp the concept of a baby through reading and scientific fact, exactly like he needed to attach to adoption through soaking up world geography. It's just who HE is.
Waking him the next morning for church, I caught a glimpse of something unusual in his bed. When he dressed and headed downstairs, I slinked back into his room -honing my skills as the parent of a preteen- to check it out. Sure enough, under his pillow WERE 2 non-bedding items: His big brother card (from the video) AND his Bible. Then I wept a river of tears large enough for us to paddle to church upon like Venetian gondoliers.
At LifeHouse, we sing this piece called "Sanctuary" by SEU worship. The entire song is beautiful, but the bridge is so poignant and relevant that lately David and I can't voice the words without crying:
LOL-We have watched this countless times and still crack up over his response. David found THE PERFECT MEME depicting how we handled his last question. Remember the Matrix scene when Neo does those incredible slow-mo backbends to avoid being shot? Well David found that short sequence manipulated so every bullet represents a kid question, making Neo's dodges resemble the hilarious (and true!) life of parents. See the stills and David's (aka: swofjustice's) caption below-
But seriously. Almost immediately after we stopped filming, Elijah asked, "What about the adoption?" My heart dropped. We explained that we were definitely adopting his sister from India, but -because of laws and agency requirements- we had to wait until this baby was 1. And silence. He asked if he could go up to his room; David and I gave each other a long look and agreed.
Here's what you have to understand: Elijah has been praying for his adopted baby sister, first from Ethiopia...now from India, for over 5 years at this point. Almost half his short life. He has no recollection of the nights we spent praying our guts out for pregnancy. To him a sibling meant adoption, for as long as he could remember. And now, SURPRISE, a bio baby is on the way too! The sibling situation is about to get REAL up in this house. For a quiet, thoughtful introvert, SO much like his father, this unexpected announcement required processing time.
Later that evening, I sat writing Father's Day cards to our dads -complete with 8 week sono pics tucked inside. E noisily clomped down the steps and nonchalantly plopped next to me at the table. Quietly he said, "Mom?" "Yeah, Bud." I looked up from the cards. "It talks about sonograms in one of my books. Like the science of how they work." As he rattled off more information, I KNEW -from that moment on- he was going to be okay. My left-brained guy needed to grasp the concept of a baby through reading and scientific fact, exactly like he needed to attach to adoption through soaking up world geography. It's just who HE is.
Waking him the next morning for church, I caught a glimpse of something unusual in his bed. When he dressed and headed downstairs, I slinked back into his room -honing my skills as the parent of a preteen- to check it out. Sure enough, under his pillow WERE 2 non-bedding items: His big brother card (from the video) AND his Bible. Then I wept a river of tears large enough for us to paddle to church upon like Venetian gondoliers.
At LifeHouse, we sing this piece called "Sanctuary" by SEU worship. The entire song is beautiful, but the bridge is so poignant and relevant that lately David and I can't voice the words without crying:
What once was full of sorrow,
Your love turned into good.
What once left me in pieces,
Your strength restored in full.
My trust is in your word Lord-
You have the final say.
My hope is in your promise
That there's an empty grave.
Your love turned into good.
What once left me in pieces,
Your strength restored in full.
My trust is in your word Lord-
You have the final say.
My hope is in your promise
That there's an empty grave.
Over the past 8 years, our family has weathered some crushing seasons: Infertility, marital stress, a suspended and terminated adoption program, the joys and frustration of foster care, untreated anxiety, unforeseen surgery, and the woes of restarting an international adoption process. Listen, I get it, Every.Single.One. of us has a list. And it's a freaking lot. Which is why I can't view this pregnancy as a reward for us enduring. Not with so flipping many friends who aren't seeing their desperately-hoped-for answers on this side of heaven. God's plan is mysterious and complex like that; it offers hope, not always reasons or explanations. Depending on the day, I love/hate this about the transcendental. But as my sister Meghan, Mama of our heavenly buddy Gabe, aptly reminded me: These heart-wrenching times offer us an opportunity to dig into the character of the Lord. And once we learn more about His character, we are further inclined to trust His authority -even through hardships. It gives us an eternal perspective, pulled back from the crazy reality of our hectic days.
So, whenever we sing (or -more accurately- DON'T sing) the bridge of that song, HERE is how I thank God: Because of the last 8 years, our concept of family has expanded in leaps and bounds. Elijah prays for his foster friends and the homes they are in now. We sponsor an Ethiopian daughter with Compassion International. E's strongly believing for twins- In that his bio sibling and Indian sister will share the same birth date. (That would be equally adorable and confusing!) My boy has such a sympathetic spirit, which was absolutely borne out of struggle. I can't completely express my gratitude over this mystery- That the pressing times in our lives actually produced something worthwhile. To my human brain, it's incomprehensible. Miraculous. And a feat only my amazing Jesus could accomplish. Just like an empty grave. (Or "twin" siblings born on different continents.)
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