The Cosmic Smackdown
Whenever
we get word of a friend or family member’s pregnancy, we are sad. It
is a weird, guilty feeling to be truly happy for someone, but to
simultaneously experience a crushing sadness yourself. Those feelings
accompanied me to work recently upon receiving someone’s happy news.
We listen to an “Inspirational” radio station. Mostly, I like it. And I appreciate Elijah repeating the lyrics to these songs much more than the Lady Gaga music on our Dance Party CD (Yes, that actually exists). On my drive to work that day, I had mostly tuned the music out. I wasn’t putting my fingers in my ears and saying “la la la”, but I was NOT looking to be encouraged out of my MOOD.
Then this lady came on the radio and said, “I want to talk to you about hope”.
My response, “Whatever radio lady” (I probably did say that out loud).
She went on, “Let me tell you about my story. We adopted a little girl when she was about 18 months old.......”.
Oh geez. I know that whenever I talk about God some of you hear Charlie Brown’s teacher’s voice (wah waaah wah waah). Let me tell you though, sometimes He is SO obvious that it cannot be ignored. Like that day in the car. He was there, ready to rumble and I was not going down without a fight. My bad attitude and I were kinda best friends at that point. I wasn’t budging. Thus, the cosmic smackdown.
Radio lady continued talking about her precious, adopted daughter. As she got older, it was apparent that she had a severe speech problem. As in, speech may never be possible for her. It was then, radio lady said, she learned the difference between “hoping in” and “hoping for” something.
If she put all of her hope into her daughter being able to speak one day, she could be massively disappointed. It’s hope with an agenda. A lot of pressure for her daughter’s small shoulders. However, she said, by hoping FOR her daughter to speak one day--it has turned that hoped-in necessity into a desire instead. What a relief.
This struck me as true on so many levels. I can tell you specific times in my life when I was hoping in something (a good job, a second pregnancy); those times were awful to put it lightly. We basically said to God on a regular basis (maybe not in these exact words), “Give us (fill in the blank) and we will be completely happy and fulfilled”. Wow. That is a lot of pressure on (your previously named blank), whatever or whoever it happens to be.
The reality is (your blank) is going to disappoint you. Our adopted daughter is not going to make our family into a perfect place. We will still screw up, get annoyed at each other, bicker, and fight. Her introduction into our life will not magically change all that. She will not be the perfect kid and we will not be the perfect parents.
Instead, here’s the plan: I am going to invest my hope in Jesus. Maybe you think this is crazy (and you are entitled). But I am 100% confident that He has a plan for my life and for our family. He’s perfect (but not braggy about it like I would be), so I can trust Him in this. I’m not saying it’s easy. When things are crappy, I wish He would text me with comforting, prophetic words. Blah, He has yet to do that.
With the “hoping in” category filled, does it preclude us from “hoping for” certain things? Um, of course not. Those hopes and desires make up pieces of who we are.
And so, what I am deciding to hope for is this: Joy with our family now as we wait for our girl. A healthy, happy daughter who transitions well into our Gross life :). A community that supports and respects us during this process. Another pregnancy someday.
“We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts....”--Romans 5:3&4
We listen to an “Inspirational” radio station. Mostly, I like it. And I appreciate Elijah repeating the lyrics to these songs much more than the Lady Gaga music on our Dance Party CD (Yes, that actually exists). On my drive to work that day, I had mostly tuned the music out. I wasn’t putting my fingers in my ears and saying “la la la”, but I was NOT looking to be encouraged out of my MOOD.
 |
| An example of me in a mood-can you feel my death stare? I hate Candy Land. |
Then this lady came on the radio and said, “I want to talk to you about hope”.
My response, “Whatever radio lady” (I probably did say that out loud).
She went on, “Let me tell you about my story. We adopted a little girl when she was about 18 months old.......”.
Oh geez. I know that whenever I talk about God some of you hear Charlie Brown’s teacher’s voice (wah waaah wah waah). Let me tell you though, sometimes He is SO obvious that it cannot be ignored. Like that day in the car. He was there, ready to rumble and I was not going down without a fight. My bad attitude and I were kinda best friends at that point. I wasn’t budging. Thus, the cosmic smackdown.
Radio lady continued talking about her precious, adopted daughter. As she got older, it was apparent that she had a severe speech problem. As in, speech may never be possible for her. It was then, radio lady said, she learned the difference between “hoping in” and “hoping for” something.
If she put all of her hope into her daughter being able to speak one day, she could be massively disappointed. It’s hope with an agenda. A lot of pressure for her daughter’s small shoulders. However, she said, by hoping FOR her daughter to speak one day--it has turned that hoped-in necessity into a desire instead. What a relief.
This struck me as true on so many levels. I can tell you specific times in my life when I was hoping in something (a good job, a second pregnancy); those times were awful to put it lightly. We basically said to God on a regular basis (maybe not in these exact words), “Give us (fill in the blank) and we will be completely happy and fulfilled”. Wow. That is a lot of pressure on (your previously named blank), whatever or whoever it happens to be.
The reality is (your blank) is going to disappoint you. Our adopted daughter is not going to make our family into a perfect place. We will still screw up, get annoyed at each other, bicker, and fight. Her introduction into our life will not magically change all that. She will not be the perfect kid and we will not be the perfect parents.
 |
| Is this child the result of 2 perfect parents? I think NOT! |
Instead, here’s the plan: I am going to invest my hope in Jesus. Maybe you think this is crazy (and you are entitled). But I am 100% confident that He has a plan for my life and for our family. He’s perfect (but not braggy about it like I would be), so I can trust Him in this. I’m not saying it’s easy. When things are crappy, I wish He would text me with comforting, prophetic words. Blah, He has yet to do that.
With the “hoping in” category filled, does it preclude us from “hoping for” certain things? Um, of course not. Those hopes and desires make up pieces of who we are.
And so, what I am deciding to hope for is this: Joy with our family now as we wait for our girl. A healthy, happy daughter who transitions well into our Gross life :). A community that supports and respects us during this process. Another pregnancy someday.
“We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts....”--Romans 5:3&4
 |
| Hoping for, praying for, eagerly expecting....... |
First - how did I somehow manage to miss this post?! Second - way to may my eyes sting from tears, woman! So, hope-for vs. hope-in ... that's a tall order, but you're so right-on. It's pointless to hope-in anything else but Him. Now, waiting on that prophetic text (oh, wait, I don't have texting). Maybe Jesus is saying I need a data plan. :) Love you!
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