Laura in Real Life
We
attend a great church. Have I mentioned that before? The worship
music is awesome and humbling at the same time; it makes you feel both
big and small-like standing on the edge of the ocean. And our pastor is
amazing. So honest and real. David must be emailing him copies of my
diary because his messages tend to hit me in my core. Right where it
hurts and where I need it most. Last week he spoke about having hope
while living in this screwed up world. Sound familiar? I jokingly said
to David, “Sounds like Patrick has been reading our blog.” Because
hope amidst brokenness is kind of a theme with me. Yet as I leaned back
and took in the rest of the sermon, I remained troubled. Yes, my
pastor and I were basically saying similar things. We were on the same
page. But I have been struggling through some old issues recently and
you’d think (based on my agreement with the preacher man) I would have
gotten it by now.
You see, if you only know “Blog Laura”-you may think that she has her stuff together. A silly, spiritual guru perhaps. Maybe you think she packs sweet vegetarian lunches for her son with notes inside and cloth napkins to be laundered later. But that is SO far from the truth, it’s hard to know where to start. I’m the mom who wears her pajamas and slippers when dropping her kid off to school every day. I microwave things on plastic plates. I despise washing out ziploc bags to reuse them. I can’t even form words before about 9:30 in the morning.
And
as far as spiritual stuff goes, let’s just say it is easy to have 1
insightful blog post a week. It is difficult to actually LIVE that
insight out in day to day reality.
David and I have been having a hard time lately. There is a laundry list of reasons why, but mostly it boils down to this. We want our baby in this house right NOW. Not in 3 years. It hurts our hearts that Elijah plays so well by himself, we want him to have a sibling so badly. Recently people have been asking us what we plan on naming our daughter. And thank you for asking! But we aren’t bringing her home from the hospital in 15 weeks. Honestly, it is hard to consider names because her arrival is SO far off. During a normal, healthy pregnancy, you could sit around, watch TV, and eat bonbons all the time (okay, that option is not actually healthy) -or- exercise and have salads every day. At the end of 9 months, the results will be the same. Baby at home. Whereas with an adoption if we sit on our rear ends eating candy corn, not only will we get fatter-NOTHING will get accomplished. The adoption won’t move forward. I’m not saying (by any means) that pregnancy is easier than adoption. Lord knows that is NOT true. But I will say that you cannot drop the ball with this process, you have to keep the momentum going. We are STILL working on paperwork, trying to slowly accomplish things around our busy family and working lives. It is disheartening.
After church on Sunday, I was reminded of one of our favorite movies, Dan in Real Life. Dan, a widowed father of 3 girls, is a newspaper family advice columnist. The movie follows Dan and his girls on an annual vacation with their gigantic, extended family in a gorgeous cabin in the woods. Not to ruin the movie for you (because you MUST watch it), but Dan basically wrecks the weekend by letting his selfishness and emotions run wild. When some big wigs come to the cabin to interview Dan about nationally syndicating his column, he finally gets it. When asked about his inspiration, he looks around at his hurt but supportive family and says, “Here’s the thing, somebody hasn’t been reading his own column.” Meaning: The advice I offer to others is good, I need to start applying it to myself.
My resolutions. In the new year this blog is moving down my totem pole of importance. I’ve watched my friends gracefully multi-task numerous things (parenting/marriage/blogging/being a nice person) without becoming as distracted and preoccupied as I am. Obviously, I’m a slow learner. I need to invest more time into my family (Please avoid the urge to say “duh!” Sometimes the obvious things are the hardest). This means I will be posting less for now (probably just twice a month, instead of once a week) and focusing on the here and now more. Also I am going to work on my “people pleasing” tendencies, to not consider or fret about others’ opinions above Jesus or myself. Instead I hope to live right and worry less. In other words: keep it simple, Stupid (and yes, in that sentence "Stupid" and "Laura" are interchangeable!).
So here’s to 2013-the year we FINALLY finish the adoption paperwork and start our official waiting time for our daughter! And maybe we’ll start using cloth napkins too (well, probably not).
You see, if you only know “Blog Laura”-you may think that she has her stuff together. A silly, spiritual guru perhaps. Maybe you think she packs sweet vegetarian lunches for her son with notes inside and cloth napkins to be laundered later. But that is SO far from the truth, it’s hard to know where to start. I’m the mom who wears her pajamas and slippers when dropping her kid off to school every day. I microwave things on plastic plates. I despise washing out ziploc bags to reuse them. I can’t even form words before about 9:30 in the morning.
 |
| Also, this happens sometimes. Keeping it classy! |
David and I have been having a hard time lately. There is a laundry list of reasons why, but mostly it boils down to this. We want our baby in this house right NOW. Not in 3 years. It hurts our hearts that Elijah plays so well by himself, we want him to have a sibling so badly. Recently people have been asking us what we plan on naming our daughter. And thank you for asking! But we aren’t bringing her home from the hospital in 15 weeks. Honestly, it is hard to consider names because her arrival is SO far off. During a normal, healthy pregnancy, you could sit around, watch TV, and eat bonbons all the time (okay, that option is not actually healthy) -or- exercise and have salads every day. At the end of 9 months, the results will be the same. Baby at home. Whereas with an adoption if we sit on our rear ends eating candy corn, not only will we get fatter-NOTHING will get accomplished. The adoption won’t move forward. I’m not saying (by any means) that pregnancy is easier than adoption. Lord knows that is NOT true. But I will say that you cannot drop the ball with this process, you have to keep the momentum going. We are STILL working on paperwork, trying to slowly accomplish things around our busy family and working lives. It is disheartening.
After church on Sunday, I was reminded of one of our favorite movies, Dan in Real Life. Dan, a widowed father of 3 girls, is a newspaper family advice columnist. The movie follows Dan and his girls on an annual vacation with their gigantic, extended family in a gorgeous cabin in the woods. Not to ruin the movie for you (because you MUST watch it), but Dan basically wrecks the weekend by letting his selfishness and emotions run wild. When some big wigs come to the cabin to interview Dan about nationally syndicating his column, he finally gets it. When asked about his inspiration, he looks around at his hurt but supportive family and says, “Here’s the thing, somebody hasn’t been reading his own column.” Meaning: The advice I offer to others is good, I need to start applying it to myself.
My resolutions. In the new year this blog is moving down my totem pole of importance. I’ve watched my friends gracefully multi-task numerous things (parenting/marriage/blogging/being a nice person) without becoming as distracted and preoccupied as I am. Obviously, I’m a slow learner. I need to invest more time into my family (Please avoid the urge to say “duh!” Sometimes the obvious things are the hardest). This means I will be posting less for now (probably just twice a month, instead of once a week) and focusing on the here and now more. Also I am going to work on my “people pleasing” tendencies, to not consider or fret about others’ opinions above Jesus or myself. Instead I hope to live right and worry less. In other words: keep it simple, Stupid (and yes, in that sentence "Stupid" and "Laura" are interchangeable!).
So here’s to 2013-the year we FINALLY finish the adoption paperwork and start our official waiting time for our daughter! And maybe we’ll start using cloth napkins too (well, probably not).
 |
| A Christmas card from my Grandmother. We need to get our girl home! |
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