Mother's Day: The Post Game Report

Having the ability to conjure up worst-case scenarios isn’t always a negative thing.  There are many political advisers who probably get paid WAY too much money to do just that (I’m considering a career change)!  Being able to picture all outcomes (even the bad ones) of a circumstance can be helpful.  It can prepare you for the worst.

Which leads us to Mother’s Day 2013.  Tra-la-la.  Cue the pink carnations, Hallmark sentiments, and toddlers dressed like they’re in a Gap ad.  Don’t get me wrong, I love all of these things!  And mommas deserve the attention (duh-they birthed a child; they basically deserve the world).

Me and my Momma-a moment of love on my crazy wedding day!

Let me tell you though, having gone through infertility and now the adoption process, Mother’s Day can seem like a slap in the face to some women.  It’s like “Oh, you haven’t used your uterus in the way it was intended?  No soup (or carnation) for you!”  I’ve become brutally aware of these underdogs, the women who walk through this day with a smile plastered on their face and sharp pain in their hearts.

The women longing for a spouse and family

The ones struggling or unable to become pregnant

The mothers who’ve lost a child; the child who’s lost her mom

The families separated by distance -or- who’ve become emotionally distant

The single mothers working to make ends meet

Unfortunately, the list could go on.  For women in these situations (unless they are amazingly well adjusted or on really great meds), this day serves as a reminder of what they are missing.

Am I saying that Moms shouldn’t celebrate their day?  Nope.  What I am humbly trying to suggest is that for every happy, carnation-carrying Mother, there’s another hurting woman avoiding eye contact and trying to sneak out the back door.  Please don’t assume that everyone’s situation is the same as yours.  Be aware, be sensitive.  To take a strangely profound quote from G.I. Joe (further confirming I’m a child of the 80’s), “Knowing is half the battle!”  Now YOU know.

And for those flowerless, shifty-eyed ladies searching for the closest escape, can I share a difficult truth voiced by my dear friend Kris?  “Comparison is the thief of joy.”  Let that one sink in.  As a person who wrestles deeply with this issue, I’m gonna go ahead and say a big “Amen!” for all of us.  When we judge our lives based on our friends’ Facebook statuses, stunning homes, or family portraits, we will NEVER measure up.  Why?  Because we are “comparing our ‘behind the scenes’ with everyone else's ‘highlight reel’ (quote from our amazing pastor)."  Our worth is not determined by anything WE accomplish.  You are valuable because God says it is true.  Not because you have a husband, baby, or awesome career.  You are beautiful because God says it is true.  Not because you’ve lost 5 pounds, joined a gym, or bought some hot new boots.  It is okay to desire certain things in life, but when that desire becomes how you define yourself-it is wrong.  “But YOU are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” -1 Peter 2:9 (emphasis mine).  

Notice it doesn’t say, “But IF you do this....then you are chosen.”  God loves you; He’s chosen you just as you are.  Not because of anything you have or haven’t done, but because of Jesus’ redemptive work.  As women, we treat ourselves so harshly.  Falling short of our own impossible standards makes us feel like failures.  So in order to prove our worthiness, we do, accomplish, work, control, buy.  Then that demanding circle of lies becomes the busy truth of our lives.  May I propose a solution?  Jump out of this rat race for just one day.  Take a break.  Eat something delicious without beating yourself up for it.  Read a book.  Treat yourself gently, like you would a cherished companion.  YOU are God’s special possession.  Don’t believe me?  Ask your friends!  Trust me, they will confirm your awesomeness!  Take one day to bask in the fact that your value is innate, God-given.  My hope is your “one day” will become 2, then 3, then a myriad of tomorrows to replace the busyness and lies of the past.

When I watched the video below for the first time, it pained me.  I actually cried.  We are so eager to see the beauty and value in others that we often miss it in ourselves.  Sweet sister, you are a treasure beyond compare.  I pray you can see your singular beauty as through the eyes of another, the One who came from heaven to earth just to rescue you.