Somewhere Between Faith and Common Sense

Recently I had a discussion about miracles with the 2 people I love and respect more than almost anyone.  My Meghan and Tricia. We talked about the fine line between believing in God’s ability to completely alter a tragic situation versus using wisdom to accept and deliberately move forward in tough circumstances.  And does our decision to follow one of these trains of thought mean we trust in ourselves TOO much -or- we aren’t trusting GOD enough? Does it mean we are forsaking our God-given intellect in favor of a better outcome -or- are we forsaking our faith by setting up action plans to deal with the problem at hand?  (PS Clearly, I DON’T have answers. Who do you think I am, the apostle Paul?!)

Perhaps we could better attack the quandary by settling on what “miracle” truly means.  Merriam-Webster defines the term as “an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs.”  Or, as the kids these days say, “It’s a God thing.” Something defying human explanation.  But the rub comes from one’s perspective on “a God thing.” Does a difficult turn of events preclude the miraculous?  Do “miracles” only occur when our positive expectations for a situation are met? Is there a middle ground to walk between complete hope and complete pragmatism?  Ugh, so many questions.

Emily Freeman addresses this dichotomy in her book Simply Tuesday:

“I want to have a vision for the future that is shaped by love, not driven by fear… It’s possible to live as though every move you make is an anxious attempt to avoid an unwanted consequence rather than a thoughtful decision to move towards life… Fear--keeps you from doing things you might want to do and convinces you that you have to do things you don’t want to do… [But] being led by love has to start by recognizing we already have it.  It is sometimes impossible to see….in the midst of living, in the midst of feeling looked over and ignored. But there are a few distinct times I can point to...and say, There.  That is where God came near and showed Himself right where I was and not where I thought I should be.”

Doesn’t Emily do beautiful job of fleshing out this hard tug-of-war we all face?  Simply put, all life experiences and outcomes can be colored by our approach to them.  Are we being swept away by currents of fear -or- are we standing firm in the assurance of God’s love?

Now let me tell you 2 stories.  Meghan and Tricia’s.

Meghan knew from the 20 week point in her pregnancy that her sweet boy, Gabriel Dean, had a fatal diagnosis.  His Potter’s Syndrome condition, usually marked by missing kidneys and underdeveloped lungs, was incompatible with life.  As anyone presented with the most devastating scenario imaginable, she and her husband Kyle were at a loss. Grasping at straws, praying for guidance.  But when opportunities arose for fear to drive them towards asserting “control” over unknowns, they chose to trust God’s authority instead. No they wouldn’t terminate their pregnancy at 20 weeks.  Rather they honored every second of their son’s uncertain lifetime, despite the daily anguish of physically carrying a child who wouldn’t survive outside the womb. No they wouldn’t induce labor, even though waiting for nature could diminish their chances to meet Gabe alive.  But God showed up. His fingerprints obvious through the unplanned-but-strangely-orchestrated timing of Gabriel’s birth, the parade of angel helpers at the hospital, and the behind-the-scenes order and care encompassing the day. Gabriel Dean Dingle came into this world at 11:28 on the morning of August 21st, 2009; he lived for 2 hours encircled in the arms of the ones who loved him best.  And when he breathed his last, a double rainbow emblazoned the once dreary sky. Beauty springing from storm, an earthly sign hearkening his parents back to their heavenly promise of reunion.

Tricia was hit with back to back bombshells in 2013.  After walking the long and exhausting road of infertility treatments, she and her husband Garnet decided to preserve their personal and marital health by stopping this maddening process.  As fate would have it, about a month later, T discovered she was pregnant! Total bombshell!! But our rejoicing was cut short when the second one erupted: Garnet’s brain cancer had reemerged with a vengeance.  You can imagine the chaos that ensued, the scrambling for structure that managing a high-risk pregnancy AND a vicious disease in the same household necessitated. Despite the stress and odds, a healthy Matthew Isaac was born in February of 2014.  Instead of being able to simply bask in newborn bliss, the next months put increasing pressure on the couple. By August Garnet’s condition had worsened severely, his diminishing medical options weighed by risk and urgency. During this absolute bleakness, love arrived.  Not through romantic ballads or emotional soliloquies, but through presence and choice. Tricia choosing to being a caretaker to her declining husband, family taking turns watching their young boys, friends showing up with a meal and listening ear. It was that kind of intentional love, not squishy sentimentality, that defined the year’s end.  And after several brutal months of failed attempts at treatment, it was love that motivated T to choose Garnet’s quality of life over his potential quantity of beleaguered days with continued intervention. She -accompanied by the best tribe of people- brought Garnet back from the hospital to die in the comfort of his home. Then, less than a month before their baby’s first birthday, Tricia delivered the Most.Beautiful.Eulogy at her husband’s funeral.  Celebrating the TRUE Garnet: A bold talent, loving husband and father, imperfect human, significant change-maker. A son of God now standing healed, whole, and forgiven in the presence of his Savior.

The earthly end of these stories don’t sound like miracles.  Two boys lost too soon. But my beautiful, strong friends would argue there were elements of the miraculous, God’s supernatural signature, displayed in their most heartbreaking moments.  Hear me: These girls aren’t saints. Everything wasn’t always handled with the manufactured ease and false aplomb of a starry-eyed Pollyanna. (Ew-I wouldn’t drink wine with someone like that anyhow.)  Not that prayer for positive -even phenomenal- outcomes is a wrong or sinful act. But Meghan and Tricia made a choice to have a balanced perspective of their earthly facts and their heavenly desires. The harmony of these two is essential, since TOTAL absorption in either can strangle us through what we currently lack.  Because focusing SOLELY on the here-and-now or SOLELY on the hereafter may sabotage our ability to accomplish the eternal work God wants us to achieve on this temporal plain.  Meaning: Hopes or fears can equally become idols if their power/authority over us exceeds our faith in God. And in the rush to only see God in the miracle, do we miss His presence during the pain?

My pastor tackled this question in a sermon about the aforementioned apostle Paul.  Paul certainly was no stranger to miraculous experiences, as JC literally stopped him in his once heathen tracks with a blinding light and a voice from the clouds.  After this astonishing conversion, God displayed His might in Paul’s growing ministry myriad ways, even using him to perform supernatural acts. But Paul -like all of us- faced intense struggles of his own.  Many Bible scholars think he dealt with poor vision or perhaps epilepsy, some unknown ailment that adversely affected his health on a daily basis. So he asked God for a miracle, his plea recorded in 2 Corinthians 12:7b-10:

“In order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  Wow, what a humbling declaration.

None of us would (or should) say suffering is a gift...I mean, unless we want to be rightly punched in the face.  God doesn’t inflict pain; He’s not a sadistic child burning ants with a magnifying glass. But, as Paul recognized, sorrow is a sacred burden to bear.  It both separates and sanctifies us in a way nothing else can. Bringing us to our knees on the holiest of ground. And maybe the greatest miracle isn’t what God can accomplish FOR us during hardships, but what He can accomplish IN and THROUGH us during hardships.  Humanity tends to rate this as a second-best scenario, the first (obviously) being OUR desired outcome for the situation.  But the lovely, difficult truth is: Our Heavenly Father never chooses second best for His children. Despite our preconceptions about what “miracles” should resemble,  He IS constantly working them. In His way, in His time, for His purposes. My dear sisters and their faith -refined by the fire of their circumstances- stand as a stalwart testimony to that fact.

#myheroes