Forty-tude

This past weekend my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.  40 YEARS!  They commemorated this awesome event with a small vow renewal ceremony, a shared lunch with family and friends, an afternoon open house, and absolutely NO wine smuggled in by their dear children.  Good, clean, sober fun (in the form of cupcakes and convo) was had by all!

    

Because I'm their loudest, most talkative spawn, I volunteered (Read: Was told) to write something for Mom and Dad's vow renewal.  Here are the few things my over-caffeinated self managed to read that morning: 

Hi.  Today I wanted to begin with Scripture because, hopefully, I can’t go very wrong with that as a starting point.  I’m reading from 1st John 4, verses 7-12, “Let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God.  Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God.  But anyone who does not love does not know God-for God is love.  God showed how much He loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.  This is real love.  It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.  Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.  No one has ever seen God.  But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us.

Marriage is a picture, albeit an imperfect one, of God’s love.  He first loved us, He is (or should be) the source enabling us to share love with others-in this case, a spouse.  This kind of love is dependent on nothing, it isn’t reciprocal.  It’s sacrificial.  In other words, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.  It is directly contrary to our human desires and selfish natures.  That’s why 40 years of love is a little difficult to wrap our brains around.  But I can tell you that my Mom and Dad didn’t accomplish that feat- Jesus in them did.

So yes, let’s celebrate them surviving the hard stuff, like 2 crazy kids...and a breast cancer diagnosis.  And applaud the blessings, like Brooklane’s incredible choice of a CEO and the birth of a smarty-pants grandchild.  We can acknowledge the struggle of building their house and having to bury several friends, a mom, and both their fathers.  These are not small things.  But in the hands of the Savior, they are not insurmountable obstacles.

My mom drives me crazy.  Mostly because we’re more alike than I’d care to admit.  But this lady has taught me so much.  I remember a very long time ago, standing in a friend’s kitchen with her.  The other moms had gathered elsewhere, essentially ripping their husbands to shreds with words.  She caught my eye and said, “Laura, I will never bash your father in front of other people.”  Now this doesn’t mean we don’t roll our eyes behind his back when he’s being a little anal about one of his many projects, but I got it.  Integrity, trust, and respect are foundational to a relationship.  Obviously, I never forgot it.  Also, mom personifies compassion.  Motivated by her battle with cancer, she now rarely misses an opportunity to encourage a friend.  To send a card or make a phone call to someone in a tough spot.  She doesn’t simply think about it, she reaches out.  That’s love in action.

And my Dad.  I’ve always been a Daddy’s girl.  Whenever mom tells my birth story, she always ends it with, “When your Dad came back from that nursery after visiting you the first time, I knew I’d have to fight from then on to stay the number one woman in his life.”  And that was about right.  Dad showed me what a great father, husband, boss, and person in ministry looked like.  It looked like him.  But that wasn’t it.  He trained Steven to get his hands dirty.  To learn how to solve problems, search out answers, and actually, physically build and fix things.  In a culture controlled by instant gratification, these skills -and the character they develop- shine bright.  Attention to detail, thoughtful observation, experienced wisdom, this is the insightful love our world desperately needs.

My parents aren’t perfect.  Trust me.  But they are two willing

vessels holding the grace of God.  And their love is changing lives.  Mine for one, considering I wouldn’t be here without them.  But also, among their friends and family.  Co-workers and employees.  Even farther to the missionaries they support and one special baby girl in India.  Because when we’re TRULY motivated by godly affection, our smallest actions and interactions can multiply like the loaves and fishes of long ago.

We kids wanted to gift Mom and Dad something fitting to commemorate 40 years …..but all I could find was this pot.

 Just kidding.  Actually, when the season is right, we plan on filling this container with a lilac bush.  Mom’s lilac didn’t survive the move, so it seemed a nice, appropriate present. But after a little research on the lilac itself, I discovered this gift was even more appropriate than we originally thought.  Lilac, the color for which the flower is named, symbolizes a first love.  Which brings us full circle to those 1 John verses I read, “This is real love.  It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.  Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.”  I’d say that my parents love each other.  40 years together definitely speaks to that.  But, more importantly, I’d say that they love God.  He alone is the source of all good things and this marriage is a very, very good thing.

"Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens." -James 1:17a