Other People's Kids

As parents, we try to set our children apart from birth.  Their many good qualities are glaringly obvious.  Because, oh my gosh, this baby is in the 99.9th percentile for height and weight!  I can hardly believe how well they eat.  And what an amazing sleeper, 7 hours in a row already!  Or, if none of that applies, they are so precious anyway!  Look at those cheeks!  No child has been this dear in the whole wide history of the earth!

And, as our kids grow up, we continue heralding their accomplishments.  Perhaps they are a soccer star, trombone genius, creative talent, incredible sibling.  Whatever.  We will continue to share these feats with our community because OUR kid is something.  They stand out.  They are important.

Perhaps genius is taking it a *bit* too far.

This is kinda our job as parents.  We get to share this little masterpiece of ours with the world.  Of course, we are going to talk them up.  We, obviously, have a large stake in their success.

Sometimes, however, the most apparent qualities in our kids AREN’T the enviable ones.  Take Elijah.  This year my buddy has struggled with distraction (Read: Talking) during class.  My smarty boy has already gotten called to the carpet several times for this behavior.  Now David and I aren’t taking this lying down: We’ve sent notes in to his teacher, had serious conversations with E, removed privileges at home.  However, I’m concerned that these early school year behaviors might cause teachers to pigeonhole my son.  He’ll become THAT kid.  The obnoxious one who talks all the time.  And, to be honest, I get it.  There are many days at home where I share that same assessment of my spawn.  (Considering we're cut from the same cloth, I guarantee there are times he thinks similarly of ME.)

But that’s the small picture.  How about some more details: Elijah has had 2 long term substitutes so far this year, as his teacher is on maternity leave until November.  Classroom consistency has not fully been established.  He sits at a table right next to another talkative buddy of his.  Clearly, 4th grade self control is not yet a highly developed skill.  And lastly, this is the first school year E *might not* be an only child in this house.  Sometimes I walk upstairs to find him just sitting in the nearly completed nursery, quietly taking it all in.

I’m not excusing this overly social behavior, but I DO think there’s more to the story.  A bigger picture.  And, as his Mama, I want others to recognize this reality and extend a little grace to my guy.  For the love, he’s only 9.  Anyone who REALLY knows him gets what an incredible kiddo he is.  As I fretted over this, JC gave me a mental nudge.  And it sounded a lot like, “Laura, EVERYONE deserves the consideration of a little grace.”  

We are all somebody’s kid.  Most likely there’s someone somewhere who would go to bat for us, who’d work to expand people’s understanding of our background if necessary.  Let’s not be so quick to dismiss others.  No matter if they’re cashier, convict, politician, parent, model, or motormouth.  Perhaps we’re all worthy of the compassion we’d like bestowed on OUR kids.  And, ugh, doesn’t that sound *just like* something Jesus would say?

“Don’t just pretend to love others.  Really love them.  Hate what is wrong.  Hold tightly to what is good.  Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other...Bless those who persecute you.  Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.  Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.  Live in harmony with each other.  Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people.  And don’t think you know it all!  Never pay back evil with more evil.  Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.  Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” -Romans 12:9-10,14-18