Dear Scrooge, I Understand.

Dear Scrooge,

I understand.  Really I do.

You see, I struggle with the holidays too.  Instead of a celebration, they are a reminder.  Of what I’m missing.  Maybe that is why they are hard for you?  And the focus on cheer, togetherness, and family just rubs more salt in the wound.  Along with the fact that some people put their Santa decorations up BEFORE Thanksgiving.  Sweet baby Jesus, it’s a bit much to swallow.

I remember my first Christmas as a newlywed.  We hauled our way-too-giant tree into our way-too-small apartment space and covered it with lights.  We kissed and I got tears in my eyes when all those little white bulbs blinked on at once.  It was a precious yuletide lamb of a moment.  Cut to this year when our Charlie Brown tree nose-dived onto the dining room floor without provocation, glugging water out of the stand and spreading dagger-like needles everywhere.  I don’t even blame the tree.  I stood it back up and whispered, “Listen tree, I get it.  I’m over this holiday too, but I need you to hang in there for the kid.”

Upholding this less-than-jolly sentiment can give one a pariah-complex.  Choosing NOT to bake cookies, blast Christmas songs 24/7, or generally exude festiveness puts a target on your back.  Like wild animals sensing fear, seasonal connoisseurs are drawn to us bah-humbug-ers.  Trying to “fix” us with their carols or high spirits.  Scrooge, YOU of all people know this.  We are catnip to the Christmas cougars.

Speaking for myself, I have nothing against exchanging gifts or spending time with family.  Surprisingly, that stuff can be enjoyable.  My quarrel is with certain things being held up as prerequisites for holiday celebration.  The “Be Happy or Else” requirement.  Non-stop glitz and the Christmas media blitz read false to me.  And these heavily touted aspects can make those of us who deal with sadness during this season feel like outcasts.

That’s why if I had to hang out with any supporting cast members of the nativity it would be the shepherds.  Those dudes were outsiders, literally.  Their job demanded life outside of city and town borders, caring for livestock.  Not the fanciest folk.  Probably rough around the edges, burly and unshakable.  A little foul, both in language and odor.  Definitely NOT the ones to conform to social or societal norms.  And they were the first recipients of JC’s birth announcement.  Go figure.

Actually Scrooge, I have been mulling this over.  Here’s what I think.  People like us -and the shepherds- don’t respond big over nothing.  We need a reason beyond conventional constructs, beyond “just because.”  The shepherds got that reason….and then they ran roughshod over the countryside to seek it out.  God must have loved their spontaneous, seemingly reckless, response.  Because according to society, dropping everything for Jesus was not good form.  But the shepherds didn’t care what was acceptable by those standards (and, many years later, neither did the disciple fishermen).  They wanted something better, something deeper, something meaningful.  And so do I.  And so do you.

Forcing “acceptable” emotions during seasonal festivities is not a great way for some people (US!) to participate.  It could make you (*even more*) bitter and frustrated about the holiday.  But I would also argue that many modern-day elements of Christmas are not the fundamental ones.  They certainly aren’t the amazing truths that sent shepherds running.  The angels didn’t demand happiness or perfect manners from their audience of sheep herders.  There weren’t awards for the nicest handmade gift, the cutest family portrait, or the most outstanding lawn decorations.  Here’s why: They were delivering the best news of all.  And that other stuff just DOESN’T MATTER in comparison.  It’s extra icing on the Christmas cake, sure, but it isn’t the main dish.  Jesus (with a side of nothing) is.  He’s it and there are exactly zero requirements to get invited to that meal.  We can bring our sad, bad, happy, or mad luggage with us to the table.  Everybody’s invited; we simply have to come.

I don’t know why this perspective helped me, but it did.  Perhaps it spoke to you too.  There’s incredible poignancy in those gruff, stoic shepherds running willy-nilly to the foot of a manger.  It put a crack straight through this hard heart of mine.  And that’s really all Jesus needs.

Your slightly-less grumpy Friend,

Laura*

Missing you, my sweet girl!  Can't wait to celebrate all together one day.  Love, love, love, Mommy