When Bad Things Happen to Bad People

Let me start with two things I strongly hold to:

1. God is a loving, attentive God.
2. Life is (sometimes) cataclysmically, indescribably unfair.

I don’t want to spend this blog reconciling these items because frankly we don’t have that kind of time.  No one does.  But I believe them both to be true and also factors in the subject matter today.  If you’re really concerned, I’d suggest googling this topic (an old library trick) for some answers from smarter, more Bible-y people.  Because that’s not really the direction I’m moving.

So, here we go.

Recently in our area there have been a string of violent child abuse cases, most leading to the victim’s death.  As you can imagine in a small-ish community like ours, the outcry has been HUGE (as it should be).  I mean, these are BABIES.  Literally, some infants.  One little boy was beaten to death after taking a piece of birthday cake.  He was a year older than Elijah.

It makes you sick to think about it.  Defenseless children.  And the responses I saw on social media probably speak for many of our gut reactions: “That parent should be beaten like they beat their son!”  Or “Why did MY precious, cherished child have to die, while these horrible lowlifes produce children that they abuse?”  It doesn’t make sense (as I already alluded to), you cannot reason it out.  Children are dead; there is no justifying that.

Here’s my unpopular opinion though.  We are ALL exactly 1 bad decision away from being a child abuser, an addict, a cheater, a thief.

When Elijah was a newborn, things did not come easily to me.  Perhaps it was the combo of first time parenting plus postpartum plus sleeplessness, but those beginning 3 months were rocky.  I remember one afternoon, I had tried everything with E.  And he continued to cry his face off in his baby swing.  I walked over and gave him a little flick in the belly--not unlike what you would do to a cat’s nose if they jumped up on a counter or when removing a piece of lint from a friend’s shoulder.  He didn’t even respond or register that I had done it (honestly, diaper changes were more traumatic for him at that point), but I crumbled.  There was a line that I had unknowingly snuck up to and put my toe on.  And it scared the crap out of me.  Because I realized that simply by being a full grown adult AND parent, anyone is *physically capable* of harming their child.  I’m not saying you WILL harm your child, I’m saying you could.  When you are bigger, you will always win.  So I made a promise to Elijah that day.  To the best of my ability, no matter how dog tired or sick I am, reacting out of anger or frustration couldn’t be an option.  Ever.  He deserved more from me; I deserved more from me.

I share this confession because you’ve seen way worse in the aisles of Walmart.  We’ve all totally been there and judged “those” people from afar.  But I’m here to tell you, EVERYONE is “those” people at one time or another.  We’ve spoken spiteful words to our parents, grabbed our kids too tightly, eyeballed someone who wasn’t our spouse, ordered one more drink than we should.  Romans 3:23 says, “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.”  If our deep, dark secrets were published on an open forum, what would the public have to say about us?  I’m sure retribution would not be pretty.

Please hear me: I’m not downplaying the necessity of human law and judgment.  And I’m also not saying you should be arrested for checking someone out at the gym (although, your spouse *might* sanction this kind of ruling).  Both government AND moral guidelines exist for a reason.  Common rules and regulations are critical to keep order intact down here.  And some offenses SHOULD carry a heavier punishment than others, not every crime is equal in the eyes of the government.  Our visceral response to certain violations is testimony to that, to a deeper knowledge that things are not what they should be.  That we have veered from right.  Because humans, just like our justice, can be fallible.  Not that we should give up aiming for justice or trusting in each other, but screw ups are inevitable.  I believe this happens on account of us not being intrinsically “good” at our core.  Instead, we are broken from the get-go.

You may disagree.  Listen, I’m not denying our ability to do GOOD things.  I just don’t think it is our natural inclination.  Watch an “innocent” child push boundaries for an afternoon and then get back to me.  A recent incident involving Elijah, an inflated exercise ball, and a letter opener comes to mind as evidence of this fact.  Yes, we can do good.  But we’re more prone to take the shortcut, the quick fix, the cheap thrill.  This knowledge can be depressing.  Like “What’s the point since I’ve already fallen short of God’s glorious standard (and even my own inferior human standard on occasion)?”  The human tendency to convict and blame can get the best of you here.  We define ourselves by the most hateful versions of us, our low points.  Once a baby flicker, always a baby flicker.  And the worst part?  Not only is God’s judgment perfect -being absent of the defects that hinder human verdicts- but we can’t conceal ANYTHING from Him.  He’s already familiar with the venomous versions of us, our darkest moments.  As written in Hebrews 4:13, “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes, and He is the one to whom we are accountable.”  In the words of Shaggy and Scooby, “Yikes!  We’re like doomed.”

And if we got what we deserved, that would be the truth.  Thank God for more insight, more opportunities, more hope.  Or as Glennon Melton aptly said, “God is forever tries.”  He has given us a way out, a remedy for the nasty nature afflicting us.  And He tucked it neatly behind the “fall short of His glorious standard” verse.  Read Romans 3: 24.  “Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.”  So Jesus.  He’s the escape from our date with destiny, the final judgment that awaits everyone.  He is The Reason we don’t have to get what we deserve.  He triumphed over the ugliness of this world, of our hearts.  And we can too, if only through His forgiveness, power, and grace.

I stand by my unpopular opinion.  We are all exactly 1 bad decision away from being a child abuser, an addict, a cheater, a thief.  But let me add another thought to it.  We are all also exactly 1 remarkable decision away from having our list of wrongs cosmically erased.  The negative past and shameful yous from before wiped clean.  And in their place just one word would remain: Redeemed.