Community
According
to Merriam-Webster, community is defined as “a unified body of
individuals.” It is also the handle for a hilarious sitcom on NBC.
Community (the show): A ragtag study group turned friends. We follow
their misadventures through the perils of college life. Although these
friends may not have hand picked each other to participate in that
original study group, you get the feeling they are better off because of
it and because of each other.
There’s a binding factor present when these alliances occur. A “common unity” as my pastor calls it. A line in the sand or a life-changing event. For you it could have been a diagnosis. A death. A birth. A choice to forgive. These “events”, whether the result of life circumstances or of our own decisions, serve to both build and break relationships.
I was just talking about this with a friend of mine. Before our adoption, I had an expectation of how our “community” for this process would look. MOSTLY, I was right. I’ve written about our spectacular family and friends before; we weren’t surprised that a majority of them jumped on this adoption bandwagon. But she mentioned, and I agree, there is always a sense of disappointment when you look around and see who’s missing. The people who didn’t show up.
I wear my puzzle pin most days and it has served as a conversation starter many times (and that was the point, so GO US!). There have been a handful of instances though, when as soon as I mention “adoption” in regard to the pin--people’s eyes drop down and their mouths clamp shut. Closed for business. It is mystifying and hurtful every time. It’s like I asked them to detail the death of their beloved childhood pet or talk about their favorite communicable disease. I hate to think of their favorable response if I had been pregnant instead of *just* intending to adopt (although I DO think about that, quite a bit). But I have learned that adoption (like those other “line in the sand” events) opens some doors and closes others.
Listen, I’m not trying to end the week of Christmas by bumming you out. But these happen to be the cold hard facts. Our expectations versus reality. And I am learning to be comfortable with it. I will never understand why some people run to help while others back away. I DO know who is missing out though. If you want to be blessed, act as a blessing to someone else (and most times that “act” turns out to be the blessing you were needing in the first place). That’s backwards Jesus logic for you (and it works!).
Similar to the TV show, we would have never hand picked our adoption community. It’s not even close to what I had initially planned (in my head). Periodically, David and I shake our heads in amusement and amazement about the members of Team Us (or Team APG-African Princess Gross). No billionaires yet, but a girl can dream :). Not to brag, but we’re the best collection of misfits the world could offer. Friends who have struggled with infertility. Some who hope to adopt. Friends who dried our tears and helped us back on our feet. Donation money sent from people living paycheck to paycheck. Support from ones we have NEVER met. Like I said-this wasn’t my dream team, it’s better. There’s no jockeying for position. No bragging rights. Instead, ours is a humble community of imperfect people. We lift each other up in encouragement and prayer. Our hearts are broken for those in need. Words do not satisfy us, we’re about action and service. Our “common unity” is the promise of hope and help for hurting ones EVERYWHERE. We’re kind of a big deal (and yes, you can still join up anytime!).
Speaking of a “big deal”, let's switch to a slightly different but related topic. The progress of our “Piece by Piece” adoption fundraiser (You should be pumped to take part now!). Please note: None of the puzzle's progress could have been made without the participation of our aforementioned “best thing since sliced bread” (I’m dating myself, aren’t I?) community.
We have sold 300 pins (116 in the last month!). There are now less than half of the original 500 left-only 200 to go (Here's an idea: Buy a dozen for Valentine's Day instead of roses! They'll keep forever-plus you'd really be spreading the LOVE.)! Thank you everyone for your support. It is hard to constantly be “marketing” ourselves and our adoption, but you make it worth it. Knowing that YOU care, about us and about our daughter, makes it worth it. You’ve heard said that it “takes a village to raise a child”, but I would add that it takes a village to adopt a child. We wouldn’t (and couldn’t) have it any other way. So, thank you.
There’s a binding factor present when these alliances occur. A “common unity” as my pastor calls it. A line in the sand or a life-changing event. For you it could have been a diagnosis. A death. A birth. A choice to forgive. These “events”, whether the result of life circumstances or of our own decisions, serve to both build and break relationships.
I was just talking about this with a friend of mine. Before our adoption, I had an expectation of how our “community” for this process would look. MOSTLY, I was right. I’ve written about our spectacular family and friends before; we weren’t surprised that a majority of them jumped on this adoption bandwagon. But she mentioned, and I agree, there is always a sense of disappointment when you look around and see who’s missing. The people who didn’t show up.
I wear my puzzle pin most days and it has served as a conversation starter many times (and that was the point, so GO US!). There have been a handful of instances though, when as soon as I mention “adoption” in regard to the pin--people’s eyes drop down and their mouths clamp shut. Closed for business. It is mystifying and hurtful every time. It’s like I asked them to detail the death of their beloved childhood pet or talk about their favorite communicable disease. I hate to think of their favorable response if I had been pregnant instead of *just* intending to adopt (although I DO think about that, quite a bit). But I have learned that adoption (like those other “line in the sand” events) opens some doors and closes others.
 |
| Pretty cute if I do say so myself! Oh, and the pin looks good too ;) |
Listen, I’m not trying to end the week of Christmas by bumming you out. But these happen to be the cold hard facts. Our expectations versus reality. And I am learning to be comfortable with it. I will never understand why some people run to help while others back away. I DO know who is missing out though. If you want to be blessed, act as a blessing to someone else (and most times that “act” turns out to be the blessing you were needing in the first place). That’s backwards Jesus logic for you (and it works!).
Similar to the TV show, we would have never hand picked our adoption community. It’s not even close to what I had initially planned (in my head). Periodically, David and I shake our heads in amusement and amazement about the members of Team Us (or Team APG-African Princess Gross). No billionaires yet, but a girl can dream :). Not to brag, but we’re the best collection of misfits the world could offer. Friends who have struggled with infertility. Some who hope to adopt. Friends who dried our tears and helped us back on our feet. Donation money sent from people living paycheck to paycheck. Support from ones we have NEVER met. Like I said-this wasn’t my dream team, it’s better. There’s no jockeying for position. No bragging rights. Instead, ours is a humble community of imperfect people. We lift each other up in encouragement and prayer. Our hearts are broken for those in need. Words do not satisfy us, we’re about action and service. Our “common unity” is the promise of hope and help for hurting ones EVERYWHERE. We’re kind of a big deal (and yes, you can still join up anytime!).
Speaking of a “big deal”, let's switch to a slightly different but related topic. The progress of our “Piece by Piece” adoption fundraiser (You should be pumped to take part now!). Please note: None of the puzzle's progress could have been made without the participation of our aforementioned “best thing since sliced bread” (I’m dating myself, aren’t I?) community.
 | ||
| The end of November--184 pins sold and pieces in...... |
 |
| and now the end of December! 300 pins sold and pieces in. Africa's looking good! |
We have sold 300 pins (116 in the last month!). There are now less than half of the original 500 left-only 200 to go (Here's an idea: Buy a dozen for Valentine's Day instead of roses! They'll keep forever-plus you'd really be spreading the LOVE.)! Thank you everyone for your support. It is hard to constantly be “marketing” ourselves and our adoption, but you make it worth it. Knowing that YOU care, about us and about our daughter, makes it worth it. You’ve heard said that it “takes a village to raise a child”, but I would add that it takes a village to adopt a child. We wouldn’t (and couldn’t) have it any other way. So, thank you.
Yeah, we *are* kind of a big deal ... and boo to the rest! :) xoxo
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